Currently

(I wrote this blog last week and forgot to publish it...sleep deprivation really does a number on your brain!)

Despite what social media might depict, there is more to my life than being Mom to Peter. Not much more, but I am finally to a point where I feel like I can rejoin the rest of the world and not be *quite* so consumed with keeping him fed/burped/clean/alive. I'm going to do my best and not let any of these things be about Peter; we'll see how it goes.

What I'm Reading
One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp I planned to love this book. I don't yet. I don't hate it by any means but I'm not loving it like I expected to. I'm not giving up on it just yet and will keep reading for a bit longer in hopes that I'm going to really get into it soon.

What I'm Excited About

We're going to Texas and New Mexico in January! We'll get to see lots of friends and family and eat delicious food and sleep in my childhood home and it will be awesome.

What I'm Inspired By

My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. Kory & I have been reading a daily devotion from this book most days and then discussing it. The thoughts are really deep and moving, but not difficult to understand. I highly recommend it.

What I'm Watching
Movies with Kory occasionally. For the first time in many years, I'm not watching any TV these days. It's largely because I have plenty to do around the house to keep me busy and am making a real effort to be more productive with my time. I'm also in between shows as the one I was keeping up with (The Blacklist) is on hiatus until February, so that helps.

What I Want to Accomplish
I've still got 15 pounds to lose to be back to my pre-baby weight. I'm not particularly caught up on the numbers on the scale, but I do want to get back into my favorite pair of jeans, so that's my goal. I don't really like running, but I love the feeling of finishing a run and especially the high of finishing a race, so I'm thinking I'll start running again to do a 5k in a few months.

What I'm Listening To
Christmas music, but not a lot of it. In fact, the only two things that haven't annoyed me lately are Pentatonix and N'Sync's Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays. Yeah, I don't know...blame it on the sleep deprivation.

What I'm Working On
Spending less time on my phone. Since I'm not working right now, I have the freedom to be on my phone all day, every day. I don't want that, but it's really easy to fall into that habit. I've been putting my phone on the charger and keeping it out of my reach to help in this effort. It's ridiculous how hard it is for me to go half an hour without checking my phone or mindlessly browsing Facebook, but it only affirms to me that this detox is necessary.

Since becoming Mom...

His old man pants crack me up :) 

I've Learned:

Zipper pajamas are far easier to get on a baby than those with snaps.

Newborns take forever to nurse (or at least mine does). You can only stare in wonder or stay awake for so long. Smart phones help the time pass quickly and help you stay awake in the middle of the night. 

There is something really special about other people who love your kid and invest in them.

The ridiculous comments from strangers don't end when you pregnancy ends. (Today in Costco, an older man asked me how old Peter was and when I told him he was just over a month, his response was, "Yeah, I knew he couldn't have been out too long because you've still got a tummy."

I can't get over:

How much more I love Kory since Peter was born. Watching him as a dad is one of my very favorite things!

How calm I feel about nothing going as planned in my labor and delivery (I'm a planner by nature and often have trouble adjusting when things go "off course").

How cute Peter is. I seriously planned for him to be an alien-looking newborn for a while and then he was cute from birth. Don't tell me if you feel differently. =) 

I have been surprised by:

The incredible flood of emotions the first two weeks after giving birth. Whoa. People told me it would happen but I had no idea how intense it would be.

The fact that my nursing cravings are far more intense and urgent than they ever were in my pregnancy.

How quickly my perspective on everything changed: work, faith, family, stress, love, you name it. 

How well I am able to handle this lack of sleep. It was the thing I was most nervous about before Peter was born and it just really hasn't been nearly as big of a deal as I imagined it would be. I'm tired, but not miserably exhausted beyond belief. It helps that I don't have to work right now, so I'm aware this could totally change.

I don't want to forget that:

The scary thing to me about having more babies is having to endure delivery again. Having Peter has made me want lots of babies, but I need the memory of the pain to fade away before I can commit to going through that again.

My view of my mom (and all moms) changed right away. When I watch movies now, I see them from the perspective of the mom and not the child. 

I understood all of the mom cliches immediately and found myself saying/thinking really corny and cliche things about my baby that I used to roll my eyes at in the past.

I have seen God at work:

When I remember that I spent the last few weeks of my pregnancy wide awake from about 3:00-5:00 a.m. I'm often up feeding at that time now and I had enough time to adjust to waking up at that hour.

When I receive texts from friends or family members at the perfect time with just the message I need to hear. After the hardest night yet, Kory and I were talking about me needing to ask for help from someone the next day while he was at work (this conversation was in the middle of the night). The next morning I woke up to a text from a friend offering to come watch Peter so I could go out by myself and take a break.  

I am thrilled that:

My parents got to be here for his birth. That wasn't our plan but it worked out so much better than our plan A.

God has given me the enormous blessing of being Peter's mom. It's better than I ever imagined it would be! 

One Month

Peter was born one month ago yesterday. The cliche thing to say is that "I can't believe it's already been a month" but it really feels like we've known him for just about that long. I can still remember life before Peter but I'm so glad he's here as a part of our family now! 

Weight: 9 lb. 4.5 oz.

Length: 22.5 in.

I love that he's the exact same size as this moose Katie gave us :)

Peter's been pretty good at holding his head up and tracking people with his eyes since birth. As you can see in pictures, he's very alert and sports the "deer in the headlights" look quite frequently. 

One of my favorite things is when I'm holding him on my shoulder to burp him and he will pat my back with his hand a few times too. It's so cute! I also love when he nuzzles into my chest and settles in for a good, long nap or cuddle time. Melts my heart!

He sleeps about 2-3 hours between feedings at night and usually naps 1-2 hours in the day (unless he wakes up right as I lay him down, which happens pretty frequently). He's most awake in the late afternoon/evening and prefers not to go to bed until midnight or later. 

This first month of life was kind of tough on him with the infection he got during delivery and his extended hospital stay (7 days on antibiotics), circumcision at 2 weeks, and a yeast infection/diaper rash that he developed from the antibiotics. 

We've spent a lot of time at home this first month, but he did go to church for the first time at 2.5 weeks (we stayed in the Nursery Annex so he could nurse) and growth group at 4 weeks. He also made trips to Edgar's birthday party, Thanksgiving at the Wonderly's, a Civil War party at the Swanson's, and the Christmas tree farm to pick out this year's tree. 

I am so thrilled that this is only the beginning and I get to keep loving and teaching and taking care of this sweet boy for as long as God allows. I am beyond grateful for his good health and the blessing he is to our family. Peter, you have given me joy in a way I never even knew existed. I can't wait to watch you grow and learn new things every day. 

You are THE coolest baby to ever grace Planet Earth! :)